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11月22日

看看大脑是怎么想的?(zz)

尽管科学家一个接一个的科研成果让我们对记忆有了越来越多的了解,但直到今天,科学家所发现的所谓大脑的秘密也只是冰山一角,在很大程度上,大脑和记忆仍是神秘的。研究人员认为,记忆是一个过程,并且当你记忆的时候,实际上就是你把保存在大脑中零零碎碎的信息进行重建。但让人不解的是,究竟是什么东西引发大脑开始这个重建过程?这个谜团继续等待科学家们去寻找答案,但有20个事实是已经科学家证实了的。

  1.大脑喜欢色彩。平时使用高质量的有色笔或使用有色纸,颜色能帮助记忆。

        Crystal: 我那个学心理学的妹妹就整天用彩笔把日记花得五颜六色,我还笑她很会自己哄自己玩,看来还是有科学依据滴~

  2.大脑集中精力最多只有25分钟。这是对成人而言,所以学习20到30分钟后就应该休息10分钟。你可以利用这段时间做点家务,10分钟后再回来继续学习,效果会更好。

         Crystal:各种讨论都在统计人最多可以集中多长时间。。。。这个。。还真短。。

  3.大脑需要休息,才能学得快,记得牢。如果你感到很累,先拿出20分钟小睡一会儿再继续学习。

  4.大脑像发动机,它需要燃料。大脑是一台珍贵而复杂的机器,所以你必须给它补充“优质燃料”。垃圾食品、劣质食品、所有化学制品和防腐剂,不仅损害身体,还削弱智力。英国一项新研究显示,饮食结构影响你的智商。

  5.大脑是一个电气化学活动的海洋。电和化学物质在水里能更好地流动,如果你脱水,就无法集中精力。专家建议,日常生活要多喝水,保持身体必需的水分,而且一天最好不要饮用相同的饮料,可以交换着喝矿泉水、果汁和咖啡等。另外,研究资料显示,经常性头痛和脱水有关。

  6.大脑喜欢问题。当你在学习或读书过程中提出问题的时候,大脑会自动搜索答案,从而提高你的学习效率。从这个角度说,一个好的问题胜过一个答案。

        Crystal: 这个说法我在几种记忆方法书上都看到有提,看来需要将这个说法运用起来~

  7.大脑和身体有它们各自的节奏周期。一天中大脑思维最敏捷的时间有几段,如果你能在大脑功能最活跃的时候学习,就能节省很多时间,会取得很好的学习效果。

  8.大脑和身体经常交流。如果身体很懒散,大脑就会认为你正在做的事情一点都不重要,大脑也就不会重视你所做的事情。所以,在学习的时候,你应该端坐、身体稍微前倾,让大脑保持警觉。

        Crystal:这个貌似有点道理哦。。。。

  9.气味影响大脑。香料对保持头脑清醒有一定功效。薄荷、柠檬和桂皮都值得一试。

  10.大脑需要氧气。经常到户外走走,运动运动身体。

  11.大脑需要空间。尽量在一个宽敞的地方学习,这对你的大脑有好处。

        Crystal:心理学上说人对所处空间有领地欲望,看来即使是学习的时候大脑也能放下这种动物性?

  12.大脑喜欢整洁的空间。最近的研究显示,在一个整洁、有条有理的家庭长大的孩子在学业上的表现更好。为什么,因为接受了安排外部环境的训练后,大脑学会了组织内部知道的技巧,你的记忆力会更好。

        Crystal:~大脑会这样学习?~有意思

  13.压力影响记忆。当你受到压力时,体内就会产生皮质醇,它会杀死海马状突起里的脑细胞,而这种大脑侧面脑室壁上的隆起物在处理长期和短期记忆上起主要作用。因此,压力影响记忆。最好的方法就是锻炼。

  14.大脑并不知道你不能做哪些事情,所以需要你告诉它。用自言自语的方式对大脑说话,但是不要提供消极信息,用积极的话代替它。

  15.大脑如同肌肉。无论在哪个年龄段,大脑都是可以训练和加强的。毫无疑问,不要寻找任何借口。不要整天呆在家里无所事事,这只能使大脑老化的速度加快。专业运动员每天都要训练,才能有突出表现。所以你一定要“没事找事”,不要让大脑老闲着。

  16.大脑需要重复。每一次回顾记忆间隔的时间越短,记忆的效果越好,因为多次看同一事物能加深印象,但只看一次却往往容易忘记。

  17.大脑的理解速度比你的阅读速度快。用铅笔或手指辅助阅读吗?不,用眼睛。使用这种方法的时候,需要你的眼睛更快地移动。

  18.大脑需要运动。站着办公效率更高。

  19.大脑会归类,也会联系。如果你正在学习某种东西,不妨问问自己:它让我想起了什么?这样做能帮助你记忆,因为大脑能把你以前知道的知识和新知识联系起来。

  20.大脑喜欢开玩笑。开心和学习效率成正比,心情越好,学到的知识就越多,所以,让自己快乐起来吧~!

      

10月18日

飘吧~

 
 
前几天在个干净的博客上听到这首歌,不自觉的慢下眼珠子。我在飘,可又还没到它所讲的心境; 我享受着飘,却还是被它吸引。
 
我这里并不适合用这首歌做背景,因为没有干净的颜色,没有对人世的感慨,没有对平凡的把玩,没有对身边爱侣深沉承诺。
 
不过,如果你有这样的博客,试试用它做背景?
 
 
其实,咱们想开点吧,孤单的时候享受自由,有伴的时候享受温暖和安全,不是很好么?人生总是给我们交替的上着好戏,如果不好好享受现在正在上演的,它马上就会落幕。青春,一切都没有我们想象得那么长。。。
 
8月9日

A man walking across China~~Cutty Mighty Beard!

 

The Longest Way 1.0 - one year walk/beard grow time lapse from Christoph Rehage on Vimeo.

8月5日

活着,并且不撒谎(转载)

 
原文地址:http://www.ruanyifeng.com/blog/2009/07/live_not_by_lies.html
 
 
下个星期一(8月3日),是俄罗斯著名作家、诺贝尔文学奖获得者索尔仁尼琴逝世一周年的日子。
Crystal 注:
索尔仁尼琴: 亚历山大·伊萨耶维奇·索尔仁尼琴,台湾译作索忍尼辛,港澳译作索赞尼辛(俄语:Александр Исаевич Солженицын,拉丁语:Aleksandr Isayevich Solzhenitsyn;)1918年12月11日至2008年8月3日,前苏联俄罗斯的杰出作家,前苏联时期著名的持不同政见者。诺贝尔文学奖获得者,俄罗斯科学院院士。他在文学语言学等许多领域有较大成就。1969年11月,索尔仁尼琴被前苏联作家协会开除会籍。但瑞典皇家学院却于1970年“因为他在追求俄罗斯文学不可或缺的传统时所具有的道义力量”授予他诺贝尔文学奖金。当时,前苏联官方认为这是“冷战性质的政治挑衅”。索尔仁尼琴没有前去领奖。
 

为了表示纪念,我翻译了他的一篇著名文章《活着,并且不撒谎》(Live Not By Lies)。

该文写于1974年2月12日。写完后的当天,秘密警察就闯进他的公寓,将他逮捕,然后驱逐出境。这是他在苏联境内写下的最后文字。等到20多年后,他再回来的时候,苏联已经变成了俄罗斯。

我原以为此文很难翻译,但实际上很容易。早上6点起床后开始翻译,到午饭前已经全部译完了,真是顺利得出奇。

另外,为了避免可能的麻烦,再多说一句。

以下内容,仅供批判性学习。

Alexander Solzhenitsyn (December 11, 1918 – August 3, 2008)

========================

Live Not By Lies

活着,并且不撒谎

作者:[俄罗斯]亚历山大·索尔仁尼琴Alexander Solzhenitsyn

译者:阮一峰

原载1974年2月18日《华盛顿邮报》,A26版

At one time we dared not even to whisper. Now we write and read samizdat, and sometimes when we gather in the smoking room at the Science Institute we complain frankly to one another: What kind of tricks are they playing on us, and where are they dragging us? gratuitous boasting of cosmic achievements while there is poverty and destruction at home. Propping up remote, uncivilized regimes. Fanning up civil war. And we recklessly fostered Mao Tse-tung at our expense-- and it will be we who are sent to war against him, and will have to go. Is there any way out? And they put on trial anybody they want and they put sane people in asylums--always they, and we are powerless.

有一段时间,我们不敢说话,只是偷偷地通过地下出版物交流思想。我们偶尔会聚在科学院的吸烟室,互相抱怨:“政府到底在玩什么把戏?到底想把我们怎样?”周围是铺天盖地的对全宇宙最高成就的吹嘘,而现实中的贫穷和堕落却随处可见。这个政府还扶植那些落后国家的傀儡政府,煽动内战。我们还傻乎乎地出钱,把毛泽东培育起来。最终,还是我们这些人被送上战场,去与他作战,他们逼着你去。我们有出路吗?他们想审判谁,就审判谁。他们把正常人关进疯人院。他们掌握一切,我们无能为力。

Things have almost reached rock bottom. A universal spiritual death has already touched us all, and physical death will soon flare up and consume us both and our children--but as before we still smile in a cowardly way and mumble without tounges tied. But what can we do to stop it? We haven't the strength?

情况已经糟到不能再糟了。一场全面性的精神死亡,正降临到我们所有人头上。肉体的死亡很快也会来临,我们和我们的子孙都无路可逃。但是我们一如既往,还在怯弱地装出笑容,毫不费力地表示顺从。我们能够阻止这一切吗?我们真的没有力量吗?

We have been so hopelessly dehumanized that for today's modest ration of food we are willing to abandon all our principles, our souls, and all the efforts of our predecessors and all opportunities for our descendants--but just don't disturb our fragile existence. We lack staunchness, pride and enthusiasm. We don't even fear universal nuclear death, and we don't fear a third world war. We have already taken refuge in the crevices. We just fear acts of civil courage.

为了得到自己那份吃不饱的口粮,我们无可救药地就把人性抛弃了,把我们所有的原则、我们的灵魂、前人的所有抗争、后人的所有机会都抛弃了,只为了让自己能够可怜地生存下去。我们缺乏忠诚、自豪感和热忱。我们不害怕核武器,也不害怕第三次世界大战,我们已经是废墟中的难民了。我们只害怕作为一个公民,做出有勇气的行为。

We fear only to lag behind the herd and to take a step alone-and suddenly find ourselves without white bread, without heating gas and without a Moscow registration.

我们害怕落在人群的后面,走出自己独立的一步。我们害怕一夜之间就失去了面包、失去了暖气、失去了莫斯科的户口。

We have been indoctrinated in political courses, and in just the same way was fostered the idea to live comfortably, and all will be well for the rest of our lives. You can't escape your environment and social conditions. Everyday life defines consciousness. What does it have to do with us? We can't do anything about it?

我们一直在各种政治学习中被洗脑,一直被教导要活得顺从,你想要好好活着就要听话。个人无法逃脱他的时代和社会。每天的生活都在考验一个人的良知。他们想把我们怎么样?我们真的无能无力吗?

But we can--everything. But we lie to ourselves for assurance. And it is not they who are to blame for everything-we ourselves, only we. One can object: But actually toy can think anything you like. Gags have been stuffed into our mouths. Nobody wants to listen to us and nobody asks us. How can we force them to listen? It is impossible to change their minds.

不,我们可以的,可以做到每件事。但是为了不自找麻烦,我们宁愿对自己撒谎。该被谴责的人,不是他们,而是我们自己。但是,你能够做到反对,即使一个傀儡也能自由思想。我们的嘴被封住了,没人想听我们的意见,也没人来问我们。我们怎样才能强迫他们倾听我们的声音?改变他们的心意是不可能的。

It would be natural to vote them out of office-but there are not elections in our country. In the West people know about strikes and protest demonstrations-but we are too oppressed, and it is a horrible prospect for us: How can one suddenly renounce a job and take to the streets? Yet the other fatal paths probed during the past century by our bitter Russian history are, nevertheless, not for us, and truly we don't need them.

在选举中,不把票投给他们是很自然的想法。但是我们的国家没有选举。在西方,人们可以罢工和上街抗议,但是在我们这里,这些是被镇压的。对我们来说,有些事情哪怕只是想一想,都很恐怖,要是一个人突然辞去工作,走上街头,会怎样?上个世纪,在俄罗斯苦难的历史中,人们尝试过其他更激进的道路,但是这些道路对我们不合适,我们真的不需要这些方法。

Now that the axes have done their work, when everything which was sown has sprouted anew, we can see that the young and presumptuous people who thought they would make out country just and happy through terror, bloody rebellion and civil war were themselves misled. No thanks, fathers of education! Now we know that infamous methods breed infamous results. Let our hands be clean!

靠斧头办事的年代已经过去了,现在的一切与以前完全不同了,只有那些少不更事和自以为是的人,才会以为通过恐怖主义可以达到目的。流血的暴动和内战都已经行不通了。如果有人还要教导我们这样做,我们只能说谢谢。现在我们知道,坏的方法只会导致坏的结果。请让我们保持清白!

The circle--is it closed? And is there really no way out? And is there only one thing left for us to do, to wait without taking action? Maybe something will happen by itself? It will never happen as long as we daily acknowledge, extol, and strengthen--and do not sever ourselves from--the most perceptible of its aspects: Lies.

出口是不是已经关上了?真的没有其他路出去吗?我们是不是只能眼睁睁地坐着不动?幻想美好的结果会自然而然地发生?只要我们日复一日地选择接受谎言、赞美谎言、加强谎言(而不是与它决裂),那么就不会有不一样的事情发生,生活就不会有任何不同。

When violence intrudes into peaceful life, its face glows with self-confidence, as if it were carrying a banner and shouting: ``I am violence. Run away, make way for me--I will crush you.'' But violence quickly grows old. And it has lost confidence in itself, and in order to maintain a respectable face it summons falsehood as its ally--since violence lays its ponderous paw not every day and not on every shoulder. It demands from us only obedience to lies and daily participation in lies--all loyalty lies in that.

起初,暴政刚刚出现的时候,它的脸上洋溢着自信,好像挥舞着旗帜,高喊:“我是暴政。滚开,为我让路。我将捏死你们。”但是,暴政很快就会衰老,对自己失去自信,为了维持脸面,它只好找到谎言作为同盟,因为它无力将可怕的爪牙每时每刻放在每个人的肩头。它要求我们服从谎言,要求我们永久性成为谎言的一份子。这就是它所要求的全部忠诚。

And the simplest and most accessible key to our self-neglected liberation lies right here: Personal non-participation in lies. Though lies conceal everything, though lies embrace everything, but not with any help from me.

要想找回我们自暴自弃的自由,最简单、最容易的方法就是,你作为个人绝不参与谎言。虽然谎言遮天蔽日,无处不在,但是休想从我这里得到支持。

This opens a breach in the imaginary encirclement caused by our inaction. It is the easiest thing to do for us, but the most devastating for the lies. Because when people renounce lies it simply cuts short their existence. Like an infection, they can exist only in a living organism.

只要我们不合作,铁筒一般的包围圈就有一个缺口。这是我们能做到的最简单的事情,但是对于谎言,却是最具有毁灭性。因为只要人们不说谎,谎言就无法存在。它就像一种传染病,只活在那些愿意说谎的人身上。

We do not exhort ourselves. We have not sufficiently matured to march into the squares and shout the truth our loud or to express aloud what we think. It's not necessary.

我们并不做出激烈的举动。情况还没有成熟到,可以允许我们走上广场,大声喊出真相,或者大声表达我们的心声的地步。这样做是不必要的。

It's dangerous. But let us refuse to say that which we do not think.

虽然有危险,但是让我们拒绝说出我们不认同的话。

This is our path, the easiest and most accessible one, which takes into account out inherent cowardice, already well rooted. And it is much easier--it's dangerous even to say this--than the sort of civil disobedience which Gandhi advocated.

这就是我们的道路,最为简单易行,只需要我们重新审视内在的、已经植根于我们天性之中的怯弱就行了。它比甘地提倡的不合作主义,还要容易做到得多,虽然这样说并不可取。

Our path is to talk away from the gangrenous boundary. If we did not paste together the dead bones and scales of ideology, if we did not sew together the rotting rags, we would be astonished how quickly the lies would be rendered helpless and subside.

我们的道路,就是不说那些已经烂掉的东西。只要我们不把已经死亡的意识形态的骨骸重新拼起来,只要我们不把烂麻袋重新缝起来,我们就会看到,谎言枯萎和崩溃的速度是多么惊人。

That which should be naked would then really appear naked before the whole world.

让那些原来就该暴露的东西,赤裸裸地暴露在全世界面前。

So in our timidity, let each of us make a choice: Whether consciously, to remain a servant of falsehood--of course, it is not out of inclination, but to feed one's family, that one raises his children in the spirit of lies--or to shrug off the lies and become an honest man worthy of respect both by one's children and contemporaries.

虽然我们每个人都是胆怯的,但是让我们做出一个选择。要么你自觉地作为一个谎言的仆人(当然,这并非由于你赞成谎言,而是由于你要养家,你不得不在谎言之中把孩子们养大),要么你就脱掉谎言的外套,变成一个忠实于自己的人,得到你的孩子和同时代人的尊重。

And from that day onward he:

从今以后,你

* Will not henceforth write, sign, or print in any way a single phrase which in his opinion distorts the truth.

* 不以任何方式书写、签署、发表任何一句在你看来不是真话的句子。

* Will utter such a phrase neither in private conversation not in the presence of many people, neither on his own behalf not at the prompting of someone else, either in the role of agitator, teacher, educator, not in a theatrical role.

* 不在私下或公开场合,以宣传、指导、教授、文艺演出的形式,自己说出或鼓动他人说出,任何一句在你看来不是真话的句子。

* Will not depict, foster or broadcast a single idea which he can only see is false or a distortion of the truth whether it be in painting, sculpture, photography, technical science, or music.

* 不描述、培育、传播任何一个你认为是谎言或是歪曲真相的思想,不管它的形式是绘画、雕塑、摄影、科技、或者音乐。

* Will not cite out of context, either orally or written, a single quotation so as to please someone, to feather his own nest, to achieve success in his work, if he does not share completely the idea which is quoted, or if it does not accurately reflect the matter at issue.

* 不以口头或书面的形式,不为了个人利益或个人成功,引用任何一句取悦他人的话,除非你完全认同你所要引用的话,或者它确实准确反映了实情。

* Will not allow himself to be compelled to attend demonstrations or meetings if they are contrary to his desire or will, will neither take into hand not raise into the air a poster or slogan which he does not completely accept.

* 不参加任何违背你心意的集会或游行,也不举手赞同任何一个你不完全接受标语或口号。

* Will not raise his hand to vote for a proposal with which he does not sincerely sympathize, will vote neither openly nor secretly for a person whom he considers unworthy or of doubtful abilities.

* 不举手为任何一个你不真心支持的提议背书,不公开或秘密投票给任何一个你觉得不值得或怀疑其能力的人。

* Will not allow himself to be dragged to a meeting where there can be expected a forced or distorted discussion of a question.

* 不同意被拉去参加任何一场可能强奸民意或歪曲事实的讨论会。

* Will immediately talk out of a meeting, session, lecture, performance or film showing if he hears a speaker tell lies, or purvey ideological nonsense or shameless propaganda.

* 如果听到任何一个发言者公然说谎,或者传播意识形态垃圾和无耻的洗脑宣传,你应当立即退出该会议、讲座、演出、或者电影放映场合。

* Will not subscribe to or buy a newspaper or magazine in which information is distorted and primary facts are concealed.

* 不订阅或购买任何歪曲事实或者隐瞒真相的报纸或杂志。

Of course we have not listed all of the possible and necessary deviations from falsehood. But a person who purifies himself will easily distinguish other instances with his purified outlook.

当然,我们不可能罗列全所有可能的和现实中的谎言的变种。但是,一个纯洁地活着的人,应该可以很容易的看出什么是真的,什么是假的。

No, it will not be the same for everybody at first. Some, at first, will lose their jobs. For young people who want to live with truth, this will, in the beginning, complicate their young lives very much, because the required recitations are stuffed with lies, and it is necessary to make a choice.

如果你这样选择,那么从一开始,你的生活就将发生巨变。对于某些人来说,他们很快就会失去工作。对于那些想寻找真相的年轻人,他们的青春岁月很快就将变得非常坎坷,因为要求背诵的内容中充满了谎言,你不得不做出选择。

But there are no loopholes for anybody who wants to be honest. On any given day any one of us will be confronted with at least one of the above-mentioned choices even in the most secure of the technical sciences. Either truth or falsehood: Toward spiritual independence or toward spiritual servitude.

对于所有那些想要诚实生活的人,是没有第三条路的。任何一天,我们中的任何一个人,都面临着至少一种上述选择,即使是在最没有意识形态色彩的科技领域也是如此。要么选择真相,要么选择谎言,要么选择精神的独立,要么选择精神的奴役。

And he who is not sufficiently courageous even to defend his soul- don't let him be proud of his ``progressive'' views,and don't let him boast that he is an academician or a people's artist, a merited figure, or a general--let him say to himself: I am in the herd, and a coward. It's all the same to me as long as I'm fed and warm.

任何一个胆小到不敢捍卫自己灵魂的人,就不配说自己有“进步的”观点,就不配自称为学者、艺术家、将军、或者其他尊称。他只能对自己说:“我是一个听话的人,我是一个懦夫。只要能够吃饱穿暖,让我说什么做什么都可以。”

Even this path, which is the most modest of all paths of resistance, will not be easy for us. But it is much easier than self-immolation or a hunger strike: The flames will not envelope your body, your eyeballs, will not burst from the heat, and brown bread and clean water will always be available to your family.

即使这样一种反抗是所有反抗中最轻微的,也是很不容易做到的。但是,它还是比自我牺牲或者绝食要容易得多,你的身体和你的眼睛不会受到伤害,你家不会被断暖气,也不会被切断面包和清洁的饮用水的供应。

A great people of Europe, the Czhechoslovaks, whom we betrayed and deceived: Haven't they shown us how a vulnerable breast can stand up even against tanks if there is a worthy heart within it?

捷克斯洛伐克人民是欧洲伟大的人民,我们背叛和欺骗了他们。他们向我们证明了,只要有一颗勇敢的心,即使最柔弱的躯体,也是能够站起来对抗坦克的。(译注:此处指1968年的布拉克之春。)

Crystal 注: 布拉格之春(英语:Prague Spring),1968年1月5日开始的捷克斯洛伐克国内的一场政治民主化运动。这场运动直到当年8月20日苏联及华约成员国武装入侵捷克才告终。一次有重大意义的国际政治事件,标志着华约内部的裂痕已经渐渐显现,可视为东欧剧变的前奏与导火索。
1968年,捷克斯洛伐克共产党中央第一书记杜布切克发起了布拉格之春改革,有脱离苏联控制倾向。8月20日晚11时,布拉格机场接到一架苏联民航机信号“机械事故,要求迫降”没有理由不同意。客机一降落,数十名苏军突击队员冲出机舱迅速占领机场。几分钟后,苏第24空军集团军巨型运输机开始降落,一分钟一架。1小时后,一辆苏联大使馆的汽车引路,苏军空降师直扑布拉格,与此同时苏军其他陆军同时进攻。21日拂晓,苏军占领布拉格,逮捕杜布切克。

 

You say it will not be easy? But it will be easiest of all possible resources. It will not be an easy choice for a body, but it is only one for a soul. No, it is not an easy path. But there are already people, even dozens of them, who over the years have maintained all these points and live by the truth.

你说这样做很困难?但它是所有可能的方法中最容易的一种。对于你的肉体,这不是一个容易的选择;但是对于你的灵魂,这是唯一的选择。已经有这样的人,数量甚至已经达到了几十个,他们已经坚持上面的标准许多年,只说真话而活着。

So you will not be the first to take this path, but will join those who have already taken it. This path will be easier and shorter for all of us if we take it by mutual efforts and in close rank. If there are thousands of us, they will not be able to do anything with us. If there are tens of thousands of us, then we would not even recognize our country.

所以,你不是第一个采用这种方法的人,你将成为已经这样做的人们中的一员。如果我们共同努力,密切合作,这条道路将变得更容易和更短一些,对我们所有人都是如此。如果这样的人达到了几千个,他们就对我们无计可施。如果这样的人达到了几万个,那么我们将发现我们的国家变得完全不一样了。

If we are too frightened, then we should stop complaining that someone is suffocating us. We ourselves are doing it. let us then bow down even more, let us wait, and our brothers the biologists will help to bring nearer the day when they are able to read our thoughts are worthless and hopeless.

如果我们被吓破了胆,那么我们就不要再抱怨,别人在压迫我们,是我们自己在这样做。我们只好弯下腰等着,让生物学家把我们的猴子兄弟变得更进化一些,等到那一天,它们可以读懂我们的思想是多么的没有价值和没有希望。

And if we get cold feet, even taking this step, then we are worthless and hopeless, and the scorn of Pushkin should be directed to us:

如果我们临阵退缩,连不参与撒谎都不敢做,那么我们就是没有价值和没有希望的。普希金的讽刺用在我们头上正合适:

``Why should cattle have the gifts of freedom?

“为什么要给畜牲自由?”

``Their heritage from generation to generation is the belled yoke and the lash.''

“它们一代代的命运就是套上枷锁,接受鞭挞。”

 
 
8月3日

初识黄耀明

       这次回家有个机会浅尝黄耀明的歌。
       我对他的最初印象,简单说,就是颓废。我承认那种喧闹奢华缤纷之下的阴暗也应该蕴含着种种的生存哲理,必有深刻的哲人是被这样的土壤孕育成长。可始终我的心背离着这种美丽,我觉得我的人生已经走过了某个阶段,不会再喜欢这类音乐。而且心里总觉得,很多人喜欢这种调调,有多少真的是颓靡而思考着,而又有多少是借着这些昏暗自欺欺人的将自己的浅薄软弱包裹成神秘忧伤,希望借以体现一种所谓魅力。这些或让我有些天然的疏离或让我不屑,所以我均远离。
       
        但即使理性上我一直远离这种音乐和喜欢他们的人,它对我应该还是有种天然的吸引力,就像我一直钟爱着郑秀文的<808>,那种节奏,那种就算只是片刻也无所谓的靡靡忘形的欢乐....可能这就是一种情绪,每个人对它的需求量不同。我不要那么多,却需要一点点。<南方舞厅> 从时代背景上看是反映了中国社会刚刚开始开放变革时,北方萧瑟南方繁荣的鲜明对比,歌词诗意而潇洒,而表现形式上恰好满足了我这种"只需要一点点"的人。(这首歌准确说是达明一派的)
 
        另外也发现了黄耀明的两首歌,那么清楚明白的写出了我不敢去看清的,但却似乎渐渐清晰一种想法。我虽然仍在挣扎,但它带来的共鸣无法不承认,我想很多人也会一样。
        今天听到<我这么容易爱人>,又想起了回家时听到的<美丽在心头>,看着歌词,突然想起那个情景: 在飘起樱花的一个暖暖的中午,我跟筇倚在她寝室的阳台上晒太阳,到处是是熙熙攘攘赏花的人。我们本来只是互相打趣的八卦,渐渐讨论着爱情到底是怎么回事,讨论的结尾开始有点悲观的担心是不是我们在适婚年龄碰到了那个还算合适的人,也就这样结婚了。
        现实已经让我们学会了豁达和忘记,现实似乎在教我们放弃深沉,学会对sex and city式爱情的认同,现实会带我们去到哪里?
        不知道她会不会听到这首歌,想起那个中午。       
       
7月14日

How to cope with self-doubt(转载)

 
 

August 21st, 2003

A very major publication just reviewed my friend’s book. The reviewer loved the book and as I read the review, each laudatory sentence makes me more ill. I feel an overwhelming moment of self-doubt coming on. I get sweaty and my heart pounds and I feel like the world will end if I don’t have sugar.

My moments of self-doubt always begin with the panic that I will not do anything important in my life. I panic that I will not even figure out what is important, let alone do it. Then I have flashbacks to all the teachers who wrote, “Penelope is bright, but she does not work up to her potential."

Tonight I am so upset I can’t even finish my stack of reading. I fear I will read somewhere in my pile that the Nobel Prize committee has decided to make 100 simultaneous awards and they are all to people I know and now everyone I ever talk to will have a Nobel Prize and I won’t.

Tonight I am worrying that other people have greatness and there is a finite amount of greatness and it is slipping out of my hands. Also, it is embarrassing to admit to wanting greatness knowing that there is a risk that I will not achieve it.

To calm myself down I eat some Oreos and as the double-stuffness clears my mind, I remember the aspects of my friend’s life that are so destroyed that not even an outstanding book review will help:

1. He has been married for fifteen years and cheated on his wife about fifteen times.
2. His mother is overbearing and controlling and spent his book advance on purchases that will not improve her life, or his.
3. His wife’s friends hate him so much for his arrogance they do not talk to him.
4. His dog does not play well with others and you can’t teach old dogs new tricks.

Okay. There. I am feeling better already.

So I sit down to do the only thing that can make things better: I do my job. I am sure that the best way to face self-doubt is to push through it.

I remind myself that this guy had writer’s block for six months, and nearly lost his whole book contract because he wasn’t meeting deadlines. He ran out of money three months before he delivered the book and he lived off credit cards, hoping that the book would sell so well that he would earn over and above the initial advance. He pushed himself in the face of failure and even bet on himself a second time.

I can do that. With a clear head I know that everyone who has wild success is someone who had to eat a box of Oreos. Everyone has her moments of huge self-doubt, often in the face of someone else’s grand success. But there is not finite success in the world. There is just a finite amount of people who can stomach the pain of wanting success so much.

So tonight I stomach pain. I put the book review on my fridge to remind myself that my friend pushed through his own self-doubt and garnered laudatory reviews from his peers. I sit down to write another column, and eventually my self-doubt dissipates. It always does.


Comments (18)

Leave a Comment

Penlope, I'm a life coach pitching a magazine article about self-doubt and looking for comments, stories, words of wisdom, commiseration to include. Specifically, I want to know what works for people to push past doubt and move forward.

Are you willing to contribute a story or a quote to enliven my article?

Thank you very much!

Nina Durfee
503-932-7407
http://www.lifesculpt.net

 

Posted by Nina Durfee on 08/18/2007 at 11:32am

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I just discovered your blog today, and I have been additively reading post after post all morning. Thanks for being so open. It helps me clarify some of the same concerns and issues that I have. And also you write well.

 

Posted by Chris Pommier on 02/25/2008 at 12:43pm |

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This post is so wonderfully honest .. I love., love, love how open and self-revealing it is. Self- doubt and jealousy go hand and hand. Have you seen this Oscar Wilde quote?

It is not uncommon to commiserate with a stranger's misfortune, but it takes a really fine nature to appreciate a friend's success. — Oscar Wilde

 

Posted by lori nelson on 05/23/2008 at 07:48pm

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This is probably one of your bestest posts. I also binge on your posts. Some of them force me to look at things differently. I love it, and I hate it. But I think I mostly love it. Thank you for this blog.

 

Posted by Joy-Mari on 10/22/2008 at 12:11pm |

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I have had a few major deal breakthroughs in my life that came just as I was being, literally and figuratively, put in the street. That last big success was a while ago, and I am hurting now after a term of relative success as an analyst, working for some prestigious telecoms and web enterprises. I never really learned how to save, and two broken marriages did not help the buffer.

My internal dialogue says that I am getting old and don't have the energy of yore to help incubate the next coup.

Of course, I am now the Willy Coyote, as opposed to the Road Runner.

 

Posted by Alan Wilensky on 02/06/2009 at 09:57am |

Crytsal 注: Willy Coyote & Road Runner 据我粗浅search是一个动画片的两个人物,但由于我没有看过这部动画,有哪位看过的,可以解释解释这个评论的metaphor 么?

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I think about this everything: that I will not do anything important in life, that I will not even figure out what is important. Why is it that someone has a need to figure out and do something "important" and other people (most of my girlfriends) really just want to fall in love with a great guy?

 

Posted by NYC on 02/06/2009 at 10:25am

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So glad you linked to this post.

We all need to hear that success is not finite, but also, that it does depend on what we choose to do (or not do).

 

Posted by Tiffany Monhollon on 02/06/2009 at 12:00pm

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Holy crap! That's the most inspirational post I've ever read! You really cut through the crap and get to the point.

I'm going to print it out and hang it on my fridge to remind me that it is possible to make it as a blogger.

-Eric

 

Posted by Eric on 02/06/2009 at 04:47pm

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So you feel better thinking about another person's failures and shortcomings? Cuz that's the takeaway here, not your sitting down to write more blog posts.

 

Posted by Barbara on 02/08/2009 at 01:15am |

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This is disturbing and I agree with Barbara. Can't you just be happy for the one thing that is going right for your friend, instead of tearing him down for everything else? If someone really has potential for greatness it will flourish, regardless of what everyone else is doing.

 

Posted by anonymous on 02/08/2009 at 07:08am

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Penelope,
I like reading your posts. I followed the link in your last post, about being an artist, to read this very interesting topic. However, it is very difficult to read this post. I think your writing evolved a lot in the last 6 years, cause your current posts are easier to follow. Thanks for making me smile (and think).
Love
 

Posted by Banu on 02/09/2009 at 10:43am

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A comment someone once made that rang true to me was: Don't compare your insides with someone else's outside.

 

Posted by jj on 02/15/2009 at 05:38pm |

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Penelope,
I agree wholeheartly with your post. Having spent the last several years trying to "make it" as an artist, and watching a number of colleagues become successful, some without trying very much, I have felt the ugly demon of jealousy, and the similarly ugly demon of despair – that I have no talent, no ability, and will never amount to anything. These feelings come and go, usually fueled by seeing others' work, and hearing of their success. Throughout this, I keep creating stuff that I like and hoping that others will like them. I dont think the self doubt will ever go away, but I dont let it stop me. Its nice to think that other people go through the same emotions, and get through it the same way.
Cheers, Elly.

 

Posted by Elly on 02/18/2009 at 10:11pm

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Well, I think the two comments (from Barbara and 'anonymous') show that they are the ones who get jealous and cannot deal with it appropriately.

Barbara, anonymous: you are projecting. (Look up the word in the dictionary).

Every human being feels jealousy at times and to be honest about it, especially in print (with your real name and even a photograph; we do not know who "Barbara" and "anonymous" are) is beautiful. Makes it very easy for others to learn from that kind of a person. And besides, you ended this column showing how the friend you were jealous of helped you overcome your own self doubt. You ended it on a kind note.

Great writing. I did some work as a columnist and was always told that it was because I put myself into my stuff so much that people were so taken by it.

Keep up the good work :-)

 

Posted by Sam on 04/17/2009 at 02:23pm

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I'm glad you feel self-doubt about things, too, because you're writing is incredible. It makes people burdened with mediocrity feel better to know that people who are truly great have insecurities, too. Thank you for sharing those insecurities on this blog. I can't seem to stop reading post after post after post of all the great content here. You have an amazing gift and extra helpings of talent. I'm jealous of you. I admire you. Keep it up. All my best – Todd

 

Posted by Todd @ The Personal Finance Playbook on 04/29/2009 at 03:17pm

 
 
7月5日

问:如果你看到这个情景会想到什么?

夏日某晚,五六个老太太,七十多岁吧,坐在一家肯德基很正中的位置泰然自若的打牌。
 
 
2009.7.16.
那天晚上,我从家门口的肯德基出来时,看到这个情景,觉得,无论是整个场景还是只是她们都很可爱,脑袋里就闪出一些想法: 
  太强了!
  她们竟然没有觉得那个地方“不属于她们”而不敢进~
  而且“堂而皇之”的打牌~
  肯德基是不是真的比麦当劳更“本地化”?
  可以作为肯德基的一个广告创意,来吹捧自己的本地化!
  这个场景有意思,可以作为一道那种没有答案的考题面试
  还可以做个小学作文题目~说不定会有小朋友习惯性的上纲上线一下~~
  我可以在blog上面问问,也许会知道一些out of box的答案!
 
 
  好了,我的坦白完毕。呵呵~~欢迎大家来玩!
6月19日

舞蹈《牵手》

闲,看了一些电影,几本书,还有一些零碎视频,由于一下子食量太大,竟感觉难以消化,一时间说自己看了什么,有什么感受,脑袋一片空白。今晚无意间发现这个视频,联想起看了的那一堆电影中的其中一个--<I am Sam>(Sean Penn主演). 推荐一下。
  
 
5月7日

中人之难(转载)

那国外的谁谁谁曾经说过:天才自有出路,笨蛋无可救药。于是他得出结论,教育的重点是中间这部分人。天才和笨蛋都是少数,大多数人都具备中人之资,这些中人做了世界上绝大多数的事情,维持着这个世界的正常运转。

真正的天才是肉眼不可见的,真正的笨蛋是视而不见的,所以中人们又把自己分为三六九等。世俗意义上的天才,往往说的是那些中人里的上层。笨蛋么,则距离真正的阿甘还有相当距离。既然如此排定,就可以相互践踏,生活中也就多了许多趣味。总体而言,这种划分都有夸张的成分。世人所说的天才,往往并不是真的千年一遇,而更像是一种恭维。大家口中的笨蛋,也并不真的无药可救,蠢到让人想撞墙。

中人没有天才的那种机缘,突然之间能够顿悟,人生顿时上一层境界。中人多的是时间,用时间的累积达到经验的增长,从而在三六九等中跨向高一阶。于是我们时常看到,一个人在事业单位也好,公司企业也好,会随着年龄增长而逐渐升职。反过来的例子不是没有,但是很罕见。随着经验的增加,社会地位的提升,中人会误以为自己是个天才,否则无法解释自己如此成功。所以,相当数量的中人会误以为自己是天才,眼中的笨蛋数量严重偏离正常值。

常见的一种说话方式是用“你为什么不。。。”开头,中间辅以“想我当年。。。”,结论是:你因为笨,所以笨。我觉得这不大公平,而且不见得明智。天才自有出路,而中人总有出路,只是个时间问题。天才第一时间解题完毕,然后就去放野马。中人哼哧哼哧在凳子上磨屁股,磨个几小时也能算出答案。但是,如果磨完两小时屁股,转身就对刚开始磨的兄弟指手画脚,这就有点过份了。为什么有的人看起来高那么一点点?需要脱下裤子检查一番,绝大多数情况下是因为老茧,屁股上的老茧。唯有屁股如婴儿面孔一般鲜嫩之辈,大概才有这种颐指气使的特权,这叫屁股决定脑袋。

做人难,做中人最难。不是因为向上攀爬难度太大,而是自上而下的压力太重,来自自己人的打压过甚。简单的人生经验告诉我们,拿一手A的家伙毕竟是少数。多的是把一手牌凑来捏去,最后堪堪打过的家伙。大多数情况下,事情也居然就那么成了。明明自己也是这么凑出来的牌局,却做出一副满手都是A的模样,教育其他牌友,这叫诈和,属于虚荣的一种。

我一直是个中人,明白这其中的苦处。所以不大愿意教训后辈,世事应是如何,汝等应该怎样。一人有一人的磨法,一人有一人的时辰,如此而已。

4月16日

Testing

hehe~~~The first time of using Windows Live Writer.

1月28日

大家春节快乐!

 
12月17日

答问题~~

 
应柳临风同学点名,我来玩玩这个老古游戏~~
 

你觉得怎么样才算幸福!

内心满足和安静就会觉得幸福,和一个双方都可以长久吸引的人在一起,游历一些地方,见到一些人. 可还不知道到底维持一个甚么生活状态才是好的.

你觉得什么才是你最重要的?

内心的满足

无聊的时候一般用什么打发时间?

网上自有黄金屋,网上自有颜如玉

真正喜欢的人你会放手吗?

如果我真的喜欢的人是我放手了才可以幸福,那为什么不呢?

你会爱上比你大很多的人么?

请评价一下点你名的人

是个可以信任的男人.

你最不能忍受最爱的人犯什么错?

不知道哦~~估计很多~

如果你最爱的人犯了你最不能忍受的错你会怎样?

我就自己郁闷吧~~其实没有甚么不可以忍受,只要能想清楚要怎么看,或者怎么做就好了.

感觉孤独无助时,你会怎么做?

运动,或者看电影.

被点名了,有什么感言?

呵呵~~又不是奥斯卡点了我的名~~乜肝炎也没~~

现在如果有一个愿望会实现,你会许什么?

找到一个人,我们可以长久互相吸引.

如果明天就是世界末日,此刻你最想做什么?

回到爸妈身边.同自己关心的人一起毁灭会少些恐惧吧.

以客观的态度总结一下你的性格?

热情而合群,好思而离群.

准备什么时候当父母?

随缘吧~~看不到甚么具体的计划.

觉得目前自己最成功,最自豪的事情是什么??

好像还没有

什么是简单爱?

不要求对等回报的爱,不带自我保护的爱,也就是长大了的人通常不敢尝试看似追求其实无心体验的爱.

对你的姓名有何见解?

越来越喜欢,希望可以一直人如其名.

你会一脚踏两只船或者是多只吗?用情不专!?

会吧~人的感情太复杂.形式上的不花心很好保证,实质上的不动心非常难.

一句话形容你现在的生活状态?

有点忙,有点颓.

现在最想干什么?

最想停下来.

每天在忙什么?

工作.

如果可以重来,你最想改变什么?

父母的关系.

你对未来的规划

暂时还是迷茫

有没有很奇怪的癖好,是什么?

有,揪耳垂,挠头皮,抱着水瓶...很多~~ 

 

我最不喜欢的问题是:

现在最想干什么?

我想增加的问题是:如果我所有答案中,你只能记住了一个,那么是哪一个?为什么?

为什么我只能记住一个? 没懂~~~ 如果你问我实际上记住了那个? 我记住了资助小孩子的愿望和吸烟的故事.:-)

不传了吧~~呵呵~~我的blog受众很小~柳同学,咋样?

9月10日

I'm so lonely

heh~~cool video,不过我还没搞清楚为什么要搞他--他是朝鲜的金正日还是金日成吧? 谁能帮我理解理解这个video?
  
9月7日

小白,嫁给大头吧~

heh~~~thank god this is not for me~~SO SWEET~~~
 
ENJOY IT~
 
 
3月14日

我很强大

坏事,好事,伤心事,上进事,统统都打动不了我的心了.
我变得没有情绪的傻开心.
我变得没有来由的很乐观.
坦荡得自己都有点莫明其妙.难道我是在自己都不知觉的情况下,长大了?
 
 
2月18日

转载

最近很不想工作,进入抱怨拖沓挑剔阶段~总在想,为什么我总要做一些对自己来说没甚么意义的事情,为什么我完成一件事,要那么久时间,为什么不给我时间学习,只是让我干活干活儿~
不过昨天看了篇文章,好像被开导了一些.
 
"不管一个人的野心有多么大,他至少要先起步,才能达到高峰.一旦起步,继续前进久不太困难了.工作越是困难或不愉快,越要立刻去做.如果等的时间越久,就变得越困难,越可怕,这有点儿像打枪,你瞄的时间越长,击中的机会就越渺茫."
 
"我们劳苦的最高报酬,不在于我们所获得的,儿在于我们会因此成为甚么"
 
原文参见:<天堂,也是地狱> http://www.cnsky8.cn/LIFE/show_138.htm
 
另,在找它的电子版的时候顺便看到一篇 http://www.cnsky8.cn/COLLECTIONS/show_241.htm
 
好了说到这里,我去上班了~
 
everyone have a good day!!
12月16日

不思考

这个星期思绪飘忽,无心工作.还好,这周工作轻松,不然又是自己给自己找麻烦...
 
想定不要感情,就坚决的拒绝它.
想定要做好一件事,就要认真投入坚持.
 
我要甚么要甚么要甚么,我要我自己成甚么样子.
 
终于让我想到,我想要得到一股泉水,一个途径,一个法子,可以永远让我回到快乐满足平和中.
我想得到这个途径这个法子这泓泉水,我想这样我就可以永久快乐下去.
 
嗯,也许还该补充说明,我的人生目标该是有波澜,而自己波澜不惊的快乐下去吧.
 
好了,那泉是甚么呢?
 
知识艺术看世界?
读书?
一个soulmate?
一种信仰?
 
如果我知道了是甚么,我觉得视线会清晰很多,因为一切所做的事都会开始有个明确的判断标准了.
 
 
又会想到,也许真如宗教所说,人,人自大的时候太多,自以为自己可以掌控世界,至少是自己的世界和思想, 但其实都是lord的意愿.
 
那我是不是只能祈祷,让上面的神早点让我知道,究竟我的那泓泉水是甚么? 
 
这样想下一轮,觉得这件事工程真大,想清楚真难,万一真如宗教所述,一切由上面掌握,那我的努力由会不会只是枉然?
 
碌碌的认真投入的工作远比这个简单.
 
 
10月26日

怀念秋天

深夜的出租车上,我发觉,秋天终于来了,有轻轻地风开始吹了。
 
 
 
早上接了几个电话,msn上和yang聊聊工作问题,竟没有心思工作了。
 
 
 
想起落叶,还有樱花大道里金黄的银杏,远处温柔的红,再远处凝重的永恒的绿。
 
想起清冷的空气,每次出门都会猛吸一口,混沌也清醒了。
 
还有空气的味道...
 
 
只是这清冷之后,就是“要把我的鼻头儿一起冻掉”的冬,还有将我的耳朵吹聋的风。
 
 
每个季节都有让人怀念且让人舒服的部分,要是每年只有这些醉人的精华在轮回就好了。
 
10月23日

小故事一则

一群老爷爷,都是七八十岁,组织在一起骑摩托车环台湾游.
 
其中有一个,带着他的妻子游.他80岁,妻子60岁.
摩托车把前面还有一张用很卡通的方式装饰起来的相片.
 
相片里是他第一个妻子.
 
他们年轻的时候曾经环台湾骑过一次摩托车,他老婆就问她:"我甚么时候还能有这个福气呢?甚么时候你还可以带着我骑摩托车?"
他说:"要是我八十岁还没死,就带着你再游一次."
 
今年他八十岁,她却早已不在了.
 
 
她是他第二个妻子,据她说是在一次她唱歌时,他爱上她的.
在这个电视片尾,她妻子坐在一个茶室里唱起当年让他们结缘的歌,真的是很有韵味的专业闽南民歌水准.
他的第一个妻子去世的时候,他痛不欲生,想"喝酒喝死",是她拉他回来.
她说,他的前妻很伟大,他的事业全是靠他前妻支持.
 
 
 
于是现在,这个老伯伯,骑着摩托车,前面"带着"第一个妻子,后面带着第二个妻子, 完成了他几十年前许下的诺言.
 
10月20日

重阳节记琐事三则

今天重阳节,唉~本来蠢蠢欲动想去看看传说中的白云山,还是没有,烦就一个字。
 
琐事1.
 
这一周不知道算不算黎明前的黑暗,总可以早点回来,于是在那第一天可以回家吃饭的夜晚,刚刚买完那可爱逼真的饼干U盘链.....
 
老远就听见一个小孩在声嘶力竭的哭,我于是快步循声而去。那个小朋友用脚当“桨”,挎在一个小车上一步步“划”着前进,一边大哭,一边大喊“妈妈”,听着真让人难过。想着还有很多事做,我理智终于战胜了感情,望了望远去的伤心孩子,横下心来,拎着超市买回的一堆东西,直奔家门。不过,快上楼的时候,还是担心,我就又跑出去找那个孩子。很容易就发现了他。这个时候,他已经由cry改成weep了,身后还站着一个阿姨,不远处的一个楼门口,还有一个明显在等这娘儿俩的男的。
 
这对男女我刚才见过,因为怀疑他们是孩子的父母,还仔细观察了一下,他们当时就悠闲的走在孩子不远的后面。
 
明白怎么回事之后,真是更加郁闷。真的不明白,父母为什么跟小到不知道回头看看的孩子开这种一点都不善意的玩笑?
小孩子的哭真的可以把人心里最软的地方都揉碎。
 
作为大人,可能很难判断出来哪些时刻,孩子会记一辈子,哪些会像从未存在过一样。
 
这样的一个无助的时刻,烙上父母“故意消失”的印章,是无法弥补的痕迹~~
 
 
琐事2
 
难得一见我如此准时如约去按摩。听起来好像很奢侈,但其实真的好必要,肩颈已经老损的很严重了,这两天脖子都不能向后仰。在身体的强烈信号下,我做了乖孩子。
从各个分店调出来的“精英团”为顾客展示新手法。我被其中一个告知脊柱有点变形,膀胱经严重不通。我把这些归罪于我那个有生以来最重的书包。
怎么都不明白我的书包为什么只是多了些小杂物,就会这么重~把我脊柱都压变形了~简直是~之前变不变我不知道,反正我就怪它。
 
从此以后我都要昂首挺胸的走路,坚决同这个鬼书包斗到底~
今天出的痧,也是我有史以来最深的,右肩比左肩重很多,还有脖子和后背。
想起同事昨天说的“peak season还有半年呢”,就有点担心。
我总是想奋力向前,不用想出门穿甚么,不用顾及身体,不用睡觉吃饭。
人活着,要兼顾的事情还真是多。
我妈说:“活着就是烦”,没错。
 
 
 
琐事3.
 
今天不爽,被同事漠视。
 
明明该是同我们两个人讨论或者安排的一件事,他只用可恶的广东话同另外一个广州土著讲着,一眼都没有看我,真的一眼都没有。我听得懂也觉得不想听了。晚上也是这样,在我小表现出不乐意之后,稍稍有点改观。
我觉得郁闷,委屈,于是开始教育自己。也许是我之前做了甚么事,让人家觉得我比较傲,不想听他们讨论,于是人家最后干脆不同我讲了? 没有多大的事,不该这样郁闷。记得别人的好,不能总想着自己的感受。宽容是是很难做到的,要多多练习,现在就是一个机会。~~~anyway,我教育了自己很多,脑袋里的唐僧一个变成三个轮番上阵。
 
被人忽视已经试过很多次了,我觉得很不舒服,或者说委屈。可我想,原因在于:1 我当那个人是回事。2,那个人不当我是回事。那只要其中一个条件不满足,就不会郁闷了。
于是改变不了世界的我就只能改变自己~ 但是得出“好吧,不要把他当回事”这个结论,也让我不爽~
 
算了,不教育了,睡觉。